The only thing that keeps my spirits up.

Let's get lost.

It's so cold here.
I like it.

Nothing has changed since i last spoke, i don't really feel anymore different. Maybe i'm more angry but i don't care.

I spent too much money this week and met a handful of interesting people.
i finally bought my camera too. Her name is Gertrude.
My other money was spent on a pair of spats and original 1940's elbow length black gloves. I think that is called retail therapy but what ever.

My camera is beautiful, she was made in 1952. Even if i find out that she doesn't work anymore i will still love her just the same.

I think the week just gone turned into a huge distraction for me. I tried to do something every second so i didn't have the chance to stop and think. Which is probably why when i finally lay down to go to sleep i want to cry. Isn't it funny how we put ourselves through these things.
And no doubt i will continue to do this. I have a feeling this is going to go for quite a while too. It's a realisation for me. I've been pretending that a lot of things around me haven't been happening, now i can't ignore them because they are right in my face and have to be dealt with.

So it is just me for a while. Playing the role of The Loner.

Joe Taranto

You were amazing. This is a huge loss to the world. You made many days of mine so much more worth while and interesting and i'll remember that. I have to thank you for teaching me so much and helping me appreciate the wonders of history and society. I'm sure we'll meet again.

Rest in peace.

Bite your tounge.

Anytime something amazing happens, something shit has to happen in return to balance things out.
to put it lightly.
I knew nothing good would come from what's been happening with me these past months.
I'm not in a relationship anymore since last night.
I can't remember how to play piano anymore.
Etc
I have never felt so pointless like i have these last few days.
Every day for a while now i feel like i am just watching myself live from the side. I am an average stranger sitting next to myself ears dropping into my life. I am living in such a nice place and seeing such interesting things yet at the end of the day i am still not happy. I still feel like i want more. So unbelievably selfish.
That relationship was the only reason i was going back home. I don't have a reason anymore. no one wants me to come back anyway.

Welcome to reality Siahne. Of working 5 days a week and always anticipating of finishing so you can go and get drunk because there is nothing else to do and it makes you feel that much better for a few hours until the next morning when you realise it all over again and have to be back at work in an hour.

I need to change the way i think or something, because all i think about now is myself being alone.

I don't have anything else to say that isn't me wallowing. I'll be seeing you folks.



http://www.nostalgic-radio.com/2008/03/05/bing-crosby--ill-be-seeing-you.aspx

It is priceless,

That someone who is over the age of twenty has the immaturity of a 16 year old.
Who turns the radio on as loud as possible to get someone out of bed.
I'm gone now so stop you're whinging. . You're sad attempts on being intimidating were entertaining though. I was sympathetically laughing along. I don't find people who think the word "squishy" is hilarious at all funny.

Fucker.

Nothing really.

I can't sleep.
My brain is rattling.
I'll be moving all of my junk in less than 12 hours, and all i can think about is the end of the day and what i want to happen. If that makes sense.
I was faced with a very big opportunity today, an amazing one really. I should've been excited but instead it made me very worried and i still am now. I don't know what my decision will be but it will mean i won't be going home for a while if i go through with it. I don't feel like having responsibilities like this, but it really could be for the better. It will rule out one thing though, which will be the hardest thing to face. So if it goes through, I'm preparing for many days of me feeling like nothing matters anymore. Kind of Ironic isn't it?

I can't be bothered writing this. It's mental dribble.

faeries on your pillow.

Times they are a changin'

I'm moving tomorrow.
It's going to be a bitch. If you see me on public transport with a suitcase bigger than myself, Do not laugh at me.
But i probably won't be able to acces this contraption so often too.
Possibly a good thing.
But i'll find a way. This is all for the better i say. Rhyming not intended...
Last night i went to a pizza joint to see Edward Scissorhands on a giant projector for free.
I can happily say i had tears in my eyes. I love that movie.
$4.00 pizza and johnny Depp in full screen, what more could you want. Besides Johnny Depp sitting next to you in person...
It was around 11 by the time it was all finished then i spent 6 bucks on a taxi and went to bed in my semi empty room. Pretty depressing.
I should be leaving for work now..
And i'm still going by my last post.
I want it.

arrivederci as Ricky Recardo would always say.
Besides "Luucccy you've got some splannin ta do!"

But seriously i'm splitting.