This is the same post from a while back. i just needed to change the title. There is no need to pretend that i don't want them to know it's for them. I'm not asking for attention in this sense, i just need to do this for myself.
Written on the 2nd of Feb 2010.
I thought i could handle what was going on. But in all honesty i am wrong.
Every time i see you, the feeling in the pit of my stomach is unbearable.
When i see you with her, i am furious and so hurt at the same time. All i want is to spend time with you again but she's stuck onto you like a leech.
Surely you know that she is taking advantage of you. I know you do. You just don't seem to care.
It's not fair. That's what i am constantly telling myself. It's not fair that i was brushed off like some fallen leaf simply because what was happening couldn't continue. Only to find out that you had an understudy waiting in the wings anyway.
You say to me that it is hard for you too, that i do not understand. While you sleep with someone else for your own simple gain of filling a unnecessary need, do you still think that this is difficult for you as well?
Or have i been played for a fool again?
You make me so angry, that i decided to give one More chance to this society that i have to be apart of, only to have this happen to me.
I want to be your friend. But you make it too hard. You tell me that she means nothing. I don't believe you anymore.
I don't want to have to worry that when i see you she will be there. I want to scream when she is, and has the to nerve just to walk off in the distance. Or to even sit down!
I deserve better than to have a friendship based on such ridiculous terms.
Friendship, there it is again.
That's all i ask of you.
Why is it that everyone around me is so self absorbed, that sex overrules everything?
I told you today that i don't think you have the time to be my friend anymore.
I wish i wasn't right.
This, is what has taken so much precious time from me in the last few months.
And so i say it again. No more.
I leave soon, i won't forget about you.
And i doubt i'll forget about this.
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thank you for sharing this
ReplyDeleteI apologise for this post actually.
ReplyDeleteI just had so much anger and sadness going through me that i needed to blurt it out somewhere.
I come across people from time to time that have this major effect on me.
it wasnt a "thank you for sharing" for you (as rude as that may sound, sorry). more of a thank you for sharing, for me. its nice to read raw emotions.
ReplyDeleteyeh well you know i think you are luckier than people who dont get to come across these characters
Ha. i see. You're welcome.
ReplyDeleteYes and no.
I don't think anyone should want to experience deceit. Or atleast i don't see why.
yeh i think youre right, nobody should want to experience deceit, but it's also better than never having experienced it at all, in my opinion.
ReplyDeletebut also i guess i live on the other end of the spectrum that any emotion is something nice for me, so right now ill take deceit just so i can write about it ha
Vivian Marlowe ..........I like your attitude towards life!Its good to share our sorrows with some one.It will just kill you if you put it inside.you are always welcomes and share your all bad and good ..I like to read it!!
ReplyDeleter4 gold
Thanks John!
ReplyDelete