I love Miss Loveland.

siahne: "excuse maam i wants to put my unemployment form in please.."
"well hold on a minute miss!now, it says here that you ain't work for 3 weeks!"
siahne:"that's right.."
"ain't it about time you got yaself a job?"
siahne: "i'm lookin' for a job right now!"
"looking for a job and prayin' you're gunna move to melbourne!no...w you tell me what the last thing you done now"
siahne: "the last one..i used to get up in the morningggggg...go to work in real estate.anddd when i was a secretaryyyyy..the computers drove me to hate!!"

This still makes me giggle. I didn't think i could be mashed with C.W but there it is.

I love Roxy Loveland

Come, feast your eyes upon this wonder.

I have a dear friend who is a very, very talented young man.
Billy Reeves is his name.
And you should all look at just how amazing he is.
http://eyeseewell.deviantart.com/

Well atleast i have my health, oh wait.

Merry Christmas.
Hope you all had a swell time.

My Christmas was slow and relaxed. i prefer it that way.
Yet, i still felt like i couldn't keep up with everyone. I was finding it very hard to make conversation so instead i sat and listened to everyone else. I didn't think much of my state until later in the evening when i had a nervous breakdown. It is the second time this year that it has happened to me, and i hate every second.

I can't explain why it happens and i can't tell when it is going to happen; instead i wait until it's finally all over and say my one hundred apologies to the sucker that had to witness it.

I am usually quite a strong person, not many folk see me with my guard down. But this is definitely an occasion where someone can see how hopeless i am, i hate it.
I do not want people to see me as fragile and this does exactly that. At the same time, i try not to let moments like these get the better of me so hopefully that is some kind of consolation.

I feel ridiculous, not being able to control my own actions. I am at war with my body, and it is winning. I know how to fix this, but i don't have the chance at the moment.

Help.

Hello insomnia, it's been a while.
I am once again immersed in worry and paranoia.
I am not well, and i not it, but i don't want a doctor to confirm it.
Things keep happening to me that make me question everything i do. The only thing i am certain of these days is where i want to be going. Next thing you know, i meet someone amazing or something happens and i am thrown back into the vicious river that is uncertainty. crashing into tribulations that make everything else seem different.
Then paranoia comes in and the sleeping ceases to exist.

I am afraid of things going wrong, to the point where i play everything too safe and i have to be one hundred percent sure that it will go right. People would disagree, due to the fact i risked a lot and ran off to live in another city, but that was simply me running to avoid things going wrong here.

Life really could be beautiful for me at the moment, but i am too scared to let it run its course.

If i continue to be like this, i am going to very very lonely. Now all i need to do is actually say this to someone.

Straighten up and fly right, Miss Fox

I find it very hard to believe

That even now when i hear that song, it makes me think of you.
And then all of a sudden i am as hurt as the day it all happened.
You haven't left my thoughts, but i wish you would.

Que Sera Sera

I am terribly confused at the moment.
Things have occurred which have thrown me into a state of not knowing what to think. This doesn't usually happen to me, causing me to be confused even more.
I experienced something over the last two days which made me act out of character. But not in a bad way.
it's moments like these that have made me consider that perhaps i need to take life a lot more as it comes, rather than following everything according to plan.
For instance, i have a decision to make; that being if i want to take a leap of faith into someone, and something. But i can't seem to find even a bone in me that trusts more than a few people. I don't want to be hurt anymore so instead i closed things out of my life so that i wouldn't.
But now this comes along, tempting me, and the taste is too sweet.
I just don't know what i want.

Simply everything.

I make a date for golf, and you can bet your life it rains.

I try to give a party, and the guy upstairs complains.

I guess I'll go through life, just catching colds and missing trains.

Everything happens to me.


I never miss a thing. I've had the measles and the mumps.

And every time I play an ace, my partner always trumps.

I guess I'm just a fool, who never looks before he jumps.

Everything happens to me.



At first, my heart thought you could break this jinx for me.

That love would turn the trick to end despair.

But now I just can't fool this head that thinks for me.

I've mortgaged all my castles in the air.



I've telegraphed and phoned and sent an air mail special too.

Your answer was goodbye and there was even postage due.

I fell in love just once, and then it had to be with you.

Everything happens to me.




I've telegraphed and phoned. I sent an air mail special too.

Your answer was goodbye and there was even postage due.

I fell in love just once, and then it had to be with you.

Everything happens to me.

It's true

http://thefuckingwordoftheday.com/

Lazy Wednesdays

Sleep at six in the morning.
the repetition of the musical going round and round.
I am content and nothing more.
Being Awoken by a friendly face, and a small embrace.
I am homeward bound, the sun hurts my eyes.
Immerse myself in the long awaited bath.
The silence of being home alone is music to my ears.
Lazy Wednesdays, keep me near.

I AM ONLY HUMAN

Please, treat me kindly.
Do not string me along, i fall for it too easily. Only for you to drop the pearls that i am.
I constantly crave for your affection; to embrace it, not to have it thrown in my face.
I want to see all that there is to see! don't hold me back!
i want you; i want you more and more each day, but i know it doesn't work like that.
You're a tease, and you taunt me.
I am only human.

For the time being.

I enjoy being on my own, pretending i am somewhere I'm not.
Pretending i know the person across from me, we don't get along.
For the time being, I'll keep to myself and be in the background. Then eventually i will let loose again, recuperated from the drab that is reality.

Thirteen

we've been in the rain
we've been on the mountain
we've been round the fire

in fancy hotels
drank water from farm wells
we sang with the choir

i kissed your dry lips
we jumped off the high cliffs
and splashed down below

skin to skin
in the salty river
made love in the shadow


read books to each other
read the mind of the other
flew one thousand

we laughed and we cried
at movies and real life
in our ridiculous beds

we danced in the moonlight at midnight
we pressed against back doors and wooden floors
and you never faked it

and frequently
we ignored our love
but we could never mistake it


we met on the front porch
fell in love on the phone
without the physical wreck

you gave me the necklace
that used to hang
around your mothers neck

we questioned religions
fed bread to the pigeons
we learned how to pray

we stood by the ocean
turned our hearts in to one
we laid in bed all day


we skipped on the sidewalk
skipped stones on the water
we skipped town

we've seen the sunrise with new eyes
we've seen the damage of gossip and true lies
we've seen the sun go down

had passionate makeouts
and passionate freakouts
we built this world of our own

it was in the back of a taxi
when you told me you loved me
and that i wasnt alone