The only thing that keeps my spirits up.

Let's get lost.

It's so cold here.
I like it.

Nothing has changed since i last spoke, i don't really feel anymore different. Maybe i'm more angry but i don't care.

I spent too much money this week and met a handful of interesting people.
i finally bought my camera too. Her name is Gertrude.
My other money was spent on a pair of spats and original 1940's elbow length black gloves. I think that is called retail therapy but what ever.

My camera is beautiful, she was made in 1952. Even if i find out that she doesn't work anymore i will still love her just the same.

I think the week just gone turned into a huge distraction for me. I tried to do something every second so i didn't have the chance to stop and think. Which is probably why when i finally lay down to go to sleep i want to cry. Isn't it funny how we put ourselves through these things.
And no doubt i will continue to do this. I have a feeling this is going to go for quite a while too. It's a realisation for me. I've been pretending that a lot of things around me haven't been happening, now i can't ignore them because they are right in my face and have to be dealt with.

So it is just me for a while. Playing the role of The Loner.

Joe Taranto

You were amazing. This is a huge loss to the world. You made many days of mine so much more worth while and interesting and i'll remember that. I have to thank you for teaching me so much and helping me appreciate the wonders of history and society. I'm sure we'll meet again.

Rest in peace.

Bite your tounge.

Anytime something amazing happens, something shit has to happen in return to balance things out.
to put it lightly.
I knew nothing good would come from what's been happening with me these past months.
I'm not in a relationship anymore since last night.
I can't remember how to play piano anymore.
Etc
I have never felt so pointless like i have these last few days.
Every day for a while now i feel like i am just watching myself live from the side. I am an average stranger sitting next to myself ears dropping into my life. I am living in such a nice place and seeing such interesting things yet at the end of the day i am still not happy. I still feel like i want more. So unbelievably selfish.
That relationship was the only reason i was going back home. I don't have a reason anymore. no one wants me to come back anyway.

Welcome to reality Siahne. Of working 5 days a week and always anticipating of finishing so you can go and get drunk because there is nothing else to do and it makes you feel that much better for a few hours until the next morning when you realise it all over again and have to be back at work in an hour.

I need to change the way i think or something, because all i think about now is myself being alone.

I don't have anything else to say that isn't me wallowing. I'll be seeing you folks.



http://www.nostalgic-radio.com/2008/03/05/bing-crosby--ill-be-seeing-you.aspx

It is priceless,

That someone who is over the age of twenty has the immaturity of a 16 year old.
Who turns the radio on as loud as possible to get someone out of bed.
I'm gone now so stop you're whinging. . You're sad attempts on being intimidating were entertaining though. I was sympathetically laughing along. I don't find people who think the word "squishy" is hilarious at all funny.

Fucker.

Nothing really.

I can't sleep.
My brain is rattling.
I'll be moving all of my junk in less than 12 hours, and all i can think about is the end of the day and what i want to happen. If that makes sense.
I was faced with a very big opportunity today, an amazing one really. I should've been excited but instead it made me very worried and i still am now. I don't know what my decision will be but it will mean i won't be going home for a while if i go through with it. I don't feel like having responsibilities like this, but it really could be for the better. It will rule out one thing though, which will be the hardest thing to face. So if it goes through, I'm preparing for many days of me feeling like nothing matters anymore. Kind of Ironic isn't it?

I can't be bothered writing this. It's mental dribble.

faeries on your pillow.

Times they are a changin'

I'm moving tomorrow.
It's going to be a bitch. If you see me on public transport with a suitcase bigger than myself, Do not laugh at me.
But i probably won't be able to acces this contraption so often too.
Possibly a good thing.
But i'll find a way. This is all for the better i say. Rhyming not intended...
Last night i went to a pizza joint to see Edward Scissorhands on a giant projector for free.
I can happily say i had tears in my eyes. I love that movie.
$4.00 pizza and johnny Depp in full screen, what more could you want. Besides Johnny Depp sitting next to you in person...
It was around 11 by the time it was all finished then i spent 6 bucks on a taxi and went to bed in my semi empty room. Pretty depressing.
I should be leaving for work now..
And i'm still going by my last post.
I want it.

arrivederci as Ricky Recardo would always say.
Besides "Luucccy you've got some splannin ta do!"

But seriously i'm splitting.

I'm addicted

I will admit to say. to the thought or actually to it i do not know.
I think about it way too often.
Every day at the moment.
It's nice when it's around, but that is not always.
That doesn't make me sad. Just makes me want it more.
Makes me feel enthralled.
I'm thinking about it right now.
Hopefully it will be around me very soon.
Who knows. Maybe i'm just going mad.
Both possible situations.

Interesting.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1090/the_last_correspondence_of_ed_wood.html?cat=33

Solitude is drunk.

My friend is a very, very clever young man.


Solitude is drunk,
Poetry written in solitude is drunk,
Love in solitude is drunk,
Dreams in solitude are drunk.

Gazing at a nights poetry through a hazy glass
When the twilight is bruised,
By the dreary light of day,
All that is left are drunken linear grooves,
Sunken, is a familiar poison.

A man so drunk that he cannot love another,
Hung by his own will for the crime of starvation,
Only time will remind him that in love,
He is still alone.

Dreams are drunk in solitude,
Policed by Walt Whitman,
And dreamt by a dreamer,
So ill that it swells and kisses the good morning.

Then to awake in solitude,
And to untangle the poetry,
There sits Walt Whitman, with a bottle and glass saying
"Seize the day...Seize the day!”

Drage Lyon.



Today is going to be as lame as toast with no butter.
Rammstein playing in the background of my house is only the beginning!

The cat creeps

On my finger that is, but that photo deserves to be displayed yet again.
My friend bought a tattoo gun recently and offered to tattoo me last night. Took me a while to think of something that i wanted him to do that wouldn't be difficult (seems though he only just started) and so i came up with a motif of a cat for my index finger. I didn't want anything big either at first because let's face it, my pain tolerance is pretty low and it was my first tattoo.
Strangely enough it felt really really good at first, it's not sheer pain at all. I was yelling "ow" and laughing but that's just the way i deal with that kind of feeling. I would say my nose piercing was a lot more painful. But eh. So yeah, i now have a cat living on my finger. I think it's cute. In a non lame cute kind of way. I love cats, so it made sense.
I certainly didn't expect my evening to be like it did.

Besides that, not much has happened. Was incredibly drunk Thursday with that dear fellow again. I like that the event of Thursday evenings seem to be turning into a traditional kind of thing. I was in a despondent mood as well, and the company and time took my mind off it for a while. It was nice.

I'm here now,
dancing to bjork in my room for the last hour.
Not knowing how this evening is going to end, but god i'm liking this right now.


I feel like fish and chips..

"I hope that the worlds turns, and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you"

Oh! Lady be good.

"For Elanor Powell's dance-version of the song "Lady, Be Good", MGM auditioned several dogs, but none of them were able to do the required tricks. Finally, Powell bought a dog off a propman and trained it herself for several weeks so that the dance could be done as she wanted."

"I'd like ta kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair."

hmm

People don't have time for me.
And i wish it wasn't so. Makes sense as to why i sit here typing the events of my day only to entertain myself.
I'm sick of feeling this.

Wash me away
Clean your body of me,
erase all the memories.
They will only bring us down.
And i've seen all i'll ever need.

Goodnight.

Some sly dogs took my photo.

http://streetpeeper.com/fashion/melbourne-center-point-i

A new day to see.

As much as i like the change that has happened, i can't keep up with it if it happens so often.
I am moving house soon, to a beautiful Art Deco place in St Kilda. I'm sure i will feel better there.
But then i will be returning to Perth no doubt. Which doesn't feel nice but i guess it has to be done, and i will be back the latest new years.

Today i felt horrible when i woke up. So i moved very slowly into the kitchen and made myself toast. The remedy for anything. Finally at about 2 i went out to look for a place that displays taxidermy jewelery. Sadly i wrote down the wrong number so i couldn't find the place. Always another day though. I bought cough medicine too, the kind that warms you up as you swallow it. I am sick of coughing up my lungs every day.

I saw that pathetic harlet today too, walking past me pretending as if not to know who i was. If i was the rude type i would've spat in her face. But i didn't, i wouldn't even give her the time of day. And like every time i say "i hope i never see her again"
touch wood.

That hankering feeling still hasn't left me. I want to fulfill what it is. I want to hear something too. They might know.
want want want want.

I don't have anything else to say right now.

http://www.deezer.com/track/new-world-T922797#music/result/all/selmasongs

Speaks for itself, har.

http://www.deezer.com/track/people-ain-t-no-good-T24522#music/result/all/people%20ain%27t%20no%20good

You're as cold as yesterdays mash potatoes

Life is not changing for the better at the moment.
Can't buy my camera tomorrow, Lame.
And i need to find somewhere else to live.
Hopefully everything falls through.
But for now, i am going to get drunk on my own because i am too pissed off to be sober.
I have to stop lying to myself too.

blah blah blah
blah blah blah
blah blah blah
blah blah blah
blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah.

Stick em up.

Dancer In The Dark

"They say it's the last song. They don't know us, you see. It's only the last song if we let it be"


Please, please watch it.

I have been left absolutely shocked an amazed. As expected.
So beautiful
Agh!!

Its now 1:19 am
what a nice way to end my night.

My day wasn't very interesting. i slept in very comfortably and happily, after quite an escapade the night before. I went out with my friend Austin to a place called workshop with his gorgeous housemate Alyce to meet the other intriguing person i continue to talk about, Tristan. It was very nice. After two of the best Bloody Mary's i have ever had and a beer, i was very comfortable. At about midnight Austin, Tristan and myself walked to The Carlton Gardens to chase possums and gasp at the amazing display of a fountain, or i at least gasped. Then laid on a bench then proceeded on my way home to eat giant bowls of pasta. I have no idea what time it was when i finally fell asleep.

And then yeah, a very uneventful day. i stumbled to Austin's yet again earlier this evening because i had nothing better to do. We went to savers and i spent too much money, but on lovely things! I got a beauuutiful fur cape, a dirty blue polka dot dress and this amazing organic rusted brown chiffon dress with little buttons that curve down the front. It is oh so pretty, and swishy. Ha.

And now i am here, still absolutely dumbfounded by the film i have just seen.

I have such a strange feeling that has come over me and stayed for the last few days, who knows what it means. I constantly want something though. I shouldn't say what.
There is no more to see.

A day in the life.

Hello fellow blog comrade.
So a little while ago i was saying i helped a friend out with posing for a few pictures for an assignment he had to do that was based on "Hollywood Glamour" kind of thing. I don't have to tell the whole story again. Anyway, i got to see a few of the final results last night. And they look something like this:

Pretty neat i guess. I feel pretty gross today though, wayyy too many shenanigans last night. But it was fun, and beautiful, and interesting. I'll explain later.

i don't belong here.

This is exactly what i'm doing right now.

http://www.loudcity.com/stations/radio-dismuke

and eating toast.

All hail toast.

We're going to take your city's one by one.

I Feel Fine

Was the name of a song released in 1964 by The Beatles,
And it is how i am feeling at this point in time.

How's that for an intro.

But really,
I'm still kinda crook but i had a good day today. I worked but everything went smoothly and ended nicely. Not only that, but i scored these absolutely gorgeous blue polka dot bloomers. Kind of like what the Hootchy cootchy dancers used to wear. I can't wait to wear them. Lords knows the looks i'll get, it'll be funny.

I then took my merry sweet time to get home, the first time i have ever done that since being here. For some reason i had this subconscious mentality that i had to be home as soon as possible. Very silly. So instead i walked around for a while then took the tram home instead. It was a nice feeling. No cats though. That was lame.

And now i'm here. In my messy messy room that i desperately need to clean that became even messier when i got home last night.
Yesterday i posed for a few photos for an amazingly interesting friend of mine, for an assignment that he has that is "glamour hollywood" or something along those lines. It was pretty interesting, although it didn't help that i felt so crappy and cold-ish...like.
But it meant that i had to carry around a giant bag of clothes with me, i looked nuts. Bag lady kind of nuts. So when i finally got home last night i just dumped it everywhere. It will probably stay like that for a few days.

I then got a phone call from certain someone which just brought me down.
That i can't even be bothered going into.
I'm deffinitely sick of that feeling.
I am a terrible writer, it's amazing.

tomorrow night feels like a night for a wild escapade, who's in?

You never cease to amaze me.

I'm sick, and its horrible.
I want to get up and do stuff but i feel too gross to move.
the only thing i have done since i got home was eat and sit in the shower, which was very nice.
But now i am bored and have that little girl inside me throwing a tantrum because "i have a sore throat and i want it to go away and it's not fair"
i feel so unproductive, if that is a word. It is odd, i have a job and i do quite a lot but i still feel that way. I'm assuming its because this is the first time i haven't studied and that always made me feel like even if i was doing nothing i was atleast learning. Maybe that's the answer.
What else is there to say?
I really don't see why i bother to post anything if i have nothing to say. It is not as if there is someone waiting for the latest edition of the happenings of my life.

sick sikc siicjkcj sick sikc

I may just go back to playing my uke.
Tomorrow i feel like wandering, as to where i don't really know. I feel like seeing Rippon Lea again...i could do that.


I'm just wasting space here,

later.

Like a bad girl should.

Hello Saturday evening, alone as usual. You're looking nice this evening.

I don't think i have anything to say.
I felt very good today, but i dont think i should've.
Who knows.
Tomorrow i have work, hopefully it will be nice. Then i am probably just going home, yet again.

My don't i sound cynical this evening.
I believe it is because i have been looking into people that i know, and realising how pathetic most of them are. Too many people go around pretending to be nice and i have no idea why. It is ok to hate someone, we're not fucking following the bible here. Well some of you are but what ever, It won't help you.
It's amazing how society has these morals that are things like that "thou shall not hate" why the fuck not? There were two absolute pathetic excuses of the male specimen on my tram last night, Basically making fun of the way i and the people around me dressed. Saying that the only way they would fit in is if they were to wear top hats and monocles and that in France we are known as social whores blah blah blah

But not even saying it to us personally, which just proved how brave someone can be when talking to themselves. I had the right mind to say something back or atleast step on one of their toes but instead sat there and listened to what they had to say. I have no idea why. It was pathetic and it infuriated me that someone would make such accusations of a person they didn't even know simply because of their choice of attire. Fuckers.

I am too annoyed to say anything that isn't really just myself complaining.

Goodnight.